Too late

It's cold and dark
I think I'm going insane
The end is coming , it's true
I'm all alone and I'm screaming your name
It seems that's all I can do

It's hard to focus when your life is a blur
It's hard to see the truth
How can I move on when there's so much to learn
And every road comes back to you

But it's too late to turn back now
It's too loud to hear the sound
I'm so lost, I can not breathe out
It's too late to turn back now

Dead By Sunrise

in love with my tears

why do i always feel the sorrow ?

while you’re the person who left me behind ...

you were always blessed with happiness ...

you pretend like nothing has happen ...
but i can’t be like you ....

i feel like the world hates me ...

the world never seems to give what i want ...

had i taken the wrong path ?

leave the place we used to love ...
trapped in love with my tears ...

if it could just be like old times ...
like you used to say it before ...

hope the time would never move on ...

stay forever ...

the light

(the world with your light)

there was a time ....

you were the light shining in my world ...

where i have enough light ...

to see ...to feel...

to touch ... to taste ...

to hold ... to share ...

it was the best things in my life ...

brought everything to life ...

i miss those feelin so much ...
but i cannot find it back again ...

maybe i just dont deserve to have you ...

i wish i hav the strength ...
to face the world without your light ...

break the sorrow inside me ...

and fly free ...

june

How nice …

If you kept to your words …

This month of June will never be the same again…

If you had just stayed with me …

It would have been like a dream come true …
The promises …

That You made …

I watch it burned away…

It burned my world …
Why am I still waiting for this broken dream?

My nightmare came and took it all away …

Things that I fear the most …

It came alive...

It is nothing ...

just tears ...

photo request

lookin back at these pictures ...
it was meant for you ...
you wanted me to smile ...
you know i do not like to smile in pictures ...
but you kept asking me to show my teeth ...
you told that i have a sweet smile ...
all these pictures were taken last year around June ...
it has been a year since...
i wonder if i could smile like this again ?
somehow i feel that the smile will not come back again

INBOX (uncompleted)

Darling
28-Nov-07 4:17 pm

The silver n
the pendant cerai
oredi.freak evan she
is ready n cum 4 u
initially purposely
delibrately the one
kena is still u,see hw
many yrs
only.promise me dun
do anything stupid.

Darling
16-Dec-07 8:23 pm

Muahaha.ok i`m mad.u
better wear xxxxx
xxxxxxxxx 2 protect
ur xxxx

Darling
17-Dec-07 1:49 am

haha ok.make sure
dun make it xxx.baby
i gota sleep.gud
nite.sleep tight.xxx
dream

Darling
07-Jan-08 1:12 am

Haha.y we do tis
kind of thing oso in
funny way huh?i
think bk only rmb to
laugh dear.so i noe
oeradi.nt only xxxxx
can kick.nxt time i
say tear u up baby.

Darling
07-Jan-08 1:23 am

Ya funny 1st time.i
like the best when u
wanna sleep n kena
kacau.smore teach
me hw to `giap` u.nxt
time i learn judo liao
u will try smth more
spicy.prepare
bandage 4 ur butts
oh

Darling
10-Jan-08 12:13 am

Furthest distance on
earth is when i love
u but still hav 2
deny.short tem of
seperation only
bring us closer.so
we r closest.gd nite
baby.

Darling
11-Jan-08 12:39 am

10 laws to remain
healty :
1.dOn smOke so muc
2.dOn hiaO so muc
3.dOn b bastard
4.dOn tfk sO muc
5.dOn make lies
6.dOn kap lui
7.miss me always
8.miss me always
9.miss me always
10,sleep tight n
sweet dreams

Darling
20-Jan-08 11:57 pm

itS 12 midnite.moon
is shinning,wind
blowing,wolves
crying,dog`s
barking,crickets
singing.witches
coming 4 boys who
sleep late like
you.sOOo.. sleep
earlier

Darling
23-Jan-08 11:06 pm

10msgs
from baby
2msg from jobstreet
1mgs from jia yi
3 incalls
7msg to jiayi
last mgs wil b
deliver to baby
gud nite:p

Darling
25-Jan-08 11:47 pm

[resume]

job title:
sweet heart
name: XXX XX
agge:20
H:162cm
W:47kg
W:experience:no
Skill:front kick,side
kick,guci-guci
wrestling
Exp.salary:a.muc.a.p

Darling
28-Jan-08 4:18 pm

Doctor`s Report:
Patient:XXX XX
Sickness:addicted 2
a bastard
Symptom:laugh
alone,kick ppl`s butt
more
Cure:no cure.find de
bastard.

Darling
06-Feb-08 12:23 am

3 ways to dump a
nerd:
1.vanish from his
sight forever
2.show him u got no
body
3.show him u r dam
kiam siap
Huh .notty smore,bite
u.

Darling
06-Feb-08 1:07 am

No.never.do u rmb
last time in msn I
promise u I wil never
dump u?sorry nxt
time i wont make tis
kind of joke.

Darling
07-Feb-08 12:04 am

Yoyo.happie New
Year my dear.Ur
good luck is gona
start from tis min.cz
u got a smart darling
like me.gong xi fa
cai.no angpow
nvm,gv me $$
enuf.muahaha

Darling
15-Mar-08 9:43 pm

Oh.i tot u gonna cook
4 me in the
future.learn 2 b maid
oso ya
muahaha.hope tat i
get da job in kl n can
fly oversea lo so I
apply my passport.find u oso
easy

Darling
20-Apr-08 10:54 pm

Yo i`m freakin
missing u.a lot of
stangers.hav 2
mix.hav 2 b careful
of ppl`s
relation.make me so
uneasy.u go to new
place oso.we gota
stay tough babe

Darling
20-Apr-08 11:18 pm

Hmm.need time 2
mix.nt sure cost hw
much.nvm
I try buy
italk c hw.haha if u
meet anything
unhappy,tiring,scare
,rmb me here oso
share de same.but
dun b afraid,we
gambateh 2gether.
love u babe.

(couldn`t continue typing cause gettin alot more pain)

lonely heaven 寂寞天堂

( the nitez we used to share )


這些日子，
夜里一個人仰望天空，
當時我們都愛一起看著這一樣的星空，
為何現在只剩我一人在這孤獨的天堂？
與你一起是上天給我美好的禮物，
但它后悔了把這禮物收回了，
讓我的心在為此淌血，
每個夜里我無法閉上眼，
這感覺猶如我有著難以理解的病，
每一天覺得心在痛,
只要心還在淌著血我的心就無法好好的。。。
我不了解為什么？我病了？
或許上天寂寞慣了想要我的陪伴，
她說她會很好，她說這是對我們最好的選擇，
我的治療我的傷口，它真的會痊愈嗎？
她的身影一直在我腦海里移動，
而在夢里她也從不休息的出現著，
但驚醒后我還是明白我失去了，
是時候我的面對現實，
但還是無法相信她已離去，
努力的告誡自己別想了，
但還是徒勞無功，這不是我的選擇，
但她卻選擇她要的，
她選擇一個我不認識的他，
把我兩的回憶拋在腦后，
她說我倆的回憶很美，
也會一直存在與我倆的心中，
我想這是永恒的回憶～



all these time …
i watch the sky by myself at nite…
where we used to look up into the same sky together ...
when we were in our promised land …
but now I wonder why do i look up into the lonely heaven alone?
being with u was the Goddess`s gift …
but the Goddess took it away from me …
it made my heart bleed…
every nite I could not close my eye…
it gave me new disease …
everyday i felt …
that my head hurt ...
i never felt good since my heart started to bleed…
i ll never know why …
I m sick…maybe the Goddess wants to meet me soon
in Her lonely heaven…
that girl …she said she’ll be fine …
she said …that was the best way for us …
to cure my wound …will my heart ever heal?
i can’t no break the silence…its killing my soul …
her moving picture …keep playing in my head…in my sleep …
she is always in but every time …
when i wake up …i never forget what i lost …
it is time to face reality …but it is so difficult to believe…
I m trying not to think …never looking back …
guess it is not working …is this the life that i chose?
but she could choose what she wanna be …
to become someone that i never knew …
left the memories behind …she said it was good …
and it is living in my heart …the memories are everlasting ...

written by alan loveless

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